Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
       -Mark Twain

Hi, it's Saturday. My son got a job helping a friend clean out thier garage today. The housework is done, nice breezy day out, got the windows and door open. Guess this is about as good as it gets. 

Jack, my son, goes to court this upcoming Friday. I am so stessed at work with the employee cuts that I took that day off, one, because I am about to have a melt down of the overload,
two,  I know it will be hard for me to concentrate waiting for the outcome of my son's court session. He does not want me to be there but I will need to know if he gets sent to prison or not. I have been feeling alot of quilt these past couple weeks about my lack of parenting skills during my son's youthful years. If you read my previous posts you will know that I am an alcoholic and so is my son's father, my ex-husband. We were both heavily drinking during my son's teenage years, the same time he turned to heroin.

I can not change the past but I sure can enhance the future. I don't drink anymore and that has made a huge difference in trying to keep sane in this life. I will repeat what I have been saying all along, PRAY. If you dealing with addiction in your life and don't know where else to turn, start by praying. I also really promote the "STEPHANS MINESTRY" program. Check into it at your local church. It is a wonderful program that does not cost anything and it provides a fellow peer to support you in these trying times. I will search for a link and put it in this post
for the program.

Today, at this moment, life feels safe. Like I said, my son is working today, with a prayer he will not come home stoned. I am resting and there is a summer breeze coming into my clean apartment.
I have put work out of my mind. I know as the week progresses I will be getting depressed
each day closer to Friday.

I talked with my counselor from Stephans Minestry and we both agree that on Friday, I need to be prepared to accept the courts decision and know God is control and it will all be for the best.  I trust this to be true.

As I sit here looking out into this beautiful summer day, I get a fantasy of going to my car,
and driving away, just driving until I run out of gas and money. And where ever I end would be my new home.   That image is what provoked my selection of my quote for today.

I know I am not happy here in this desert town, I want to relocate to Fl to be closer to
some of my siblings that live there. But, I live paycheck to paycheck and without a job lined up in FL I cant afford to do such an act. I have applied to jobs in FL, but again, with my credit
score (read my previous posts) and my background check, I am not a very good candidate.
So, I will pray for a mini miracle to come my way someday soon. For now, one day at a time.
Support my son during his court dates and struggle each day at a job I hate.

All I can say folks is "PRAY, PRAY and PRAY"  keeping in mind that God helps those who help themselves...so keep trying to make the changes you need in your life and for every wall you come up to..either climb it or go around it and ask God to see you past it.

ENJOY YOUR SATURDAY FOLKS


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