Hi, well it’s the eve before one of my son’s court dates. Tomorrow’s court date is for shoplifting.
He is unemployed so he cannot afford a lawyer. I live paycheck to paycheck so I can’t afford
one for him either, and to be honest, even if I could I would not hire a lawyer for him. Too many
times I have bailed him out financially only to get burnt. I ridiculously cosigned for school loans
for him for "computer repair" courses. Thousands of dollars worth of school loans later, he dropped out. He has not paid a cent on any of the loans and as I am the cosigner, I am now in debt to years
of a school loan. It has destroyed my credit rating. "Why would I do such a foolish thing?" you ask,
I guess my only answer is ‘because I am his mother". The other debt I am struggling with is that
my son actually got hired as a computer repair person at a corporate a couple states away from where
we live now. I was so excited, again I thought he would pull out of his addiction with this new promising job that started him at $32,000.00 a year. I thought he would soon be able to start
paying on his school loans and he would put the addicted years behind me. The fact that he
even got this superb job and he did not even finish college was a mini miracle in itself. I was
thinking it was a gift from God.
It was only a couple months later I got a call that his car was broken down and he needed it for work.
I again rescued him by repairing the car with a credit card. Oh ya,..how stupid was that? Don’t answer!
Anyways, $4000.00 later his car was fixed. I did have common sense to pay the auto shop directly
so the money did not pass through his hands. A few weeks later, he was fired. When he returned to my home I found needles, balloon pieces and black residue all over that car, need we say more as to why he was fired?
So close to a good life but yet so far. I am still struggling to pay on that credit card along with the school loan. Oh ya, I have made my monetary investment in my son and those days are done.
So where am I at right now, well, my faith is its strongest right now. I am praying that
a righteous decision comes out of all this. If my son is not capable of coming clean and turning his
life around, then regrettably I ask God to have the legal system send him off to jail to save my sanity and to benefit society.
It is a shame that we put alcoholics and drug addicts in the jail system, they should be under lock and key in a medical facility, but those days are long gone and jail is the only place society has provided them.
So be it, if the good Lord knows he will never straighten out, then I pray the courts lock him up.
The second half of my prayer is, if the good Lord foresees he can turn his life around, if
the Salvation Army 6 month rehab program is the program that will change him, then
I pray to the Lord to allow the courts to see this avenue as the best way and to spare him jail time.
I am done praying directly for him, I figure my son, Jack, needs to pray for himself and his
rehabilitation, I have exhausted my prayers. I am now praying for my own sanity and may
the Lord do whatever is necessary to help me get my sanity and life back.One day at a time, we will see what tomorrow brings.
Thanks for reading.
He is unemployed so he cannot afford a lawyer. I live paycheck to paycheck so I can’t afford
one for him either, and to be honest, even if I could I would not hire a lawyer for him. Too many
times I have bailed him out financially only to get burnt. I ridiculously cosigned for school loans
for him for "computer repair" courses. Thousands of dollars worth of school loans later, he dropped out. He has not paid a cent on any of the loans and as I am the cosigner, I am now in debt to years
of a school loan. It has destroyed my credit rating. "Why would I do such a foolish thing?" you ask,
I guess my only answer is ‘because I am his mother". The other debt I am struggling with is that
my son actually got hired as a computer repair person at a corporate a couple states away from where
we live now. I was so excited, again I thought he would pull out of his addiction with this new promising job that started him at $32,000.00 a year. I thought he would soon be able to start
paying on his school loans and he would put the addicted years behind me. The fact that he
even got this superb job and he did not even finish college was a mini miracle in itself. I was
thinking it was a gift from God.
It was only a couple months later I got a call that his car was broken down and he needed it for work.
I again rescued him by repairing the car with a credit card. Oh ya,..how stupid was that? Don’t answer!
Anyways, $4000.00 later his car was fixed. I did have common sense to pay the auto shop directly
so the money did not pass through his hands. A few weeks later, he was fired. When he returned to my home I found needles, balloon pieces and black residue all over that car, need we say more as to why he was fired?
So close to a good life but yet so far. I am still struggling to pay on that credit card along with the school loan. Oh ya, I have made my monetary investment in my son and those days are done.
So where am I at right now, well, my faith is its strongest right now. I am praying that
a righteous decision comes out of all this. If my son is not capable of coming clean and turning his
life around, then regrettably I ask God to have the legal system send him off to jail to save my sanity and to benefit society.
It is a shame that we put alcoholics and drug addicts in the jail system, they should be under lock and key in a medical facility, but those days are long gone and jail is the only place society has provided them.
So be it, if the good Lord knows he will never straighten out, then I pray the courts lock him up.
The second half of my prayer is, if the good Lord foresees he can turn his life around, if
the Salvation Army 6 month rehab program is the program that will change him, then
I pray to the Lord to allow the courts to see this avenue as the best way and to spare him jail time.
I am done praying directly for him, I figure my son, Jack, needs to pray for himself and his
rehabilitation, I have exhausted my prayers. I am now praying for my own sanity and may
the Lord do whatever is necessary to help me get my sanity and life back.One day at a time, we will see what tomorrow brings.
Thanks for reading.
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