It's Sunday: Day of rest
Unfortunately living with addictions there is no day of rest.
Two more days until my son goes to one of his court dates. Yesterday was actually a good day for us,
he stayed home and I don't believe he has used for a day or so. He said he is going to the
men's AA meeting tomorrow night. But those are words, actions are what count.
As always, I am in hopes that he is going to turn his life around, but I have had this hope so many times and so far it he has always failed. Plus we are not sure if he will be sentenced to jail time, some think that would be good at least it would keep him clean, but unfortunately, they get drugs in prison. I can only
pray and put my faith into God that he will guide us and do whats best for both of us.
I had mentioned earlier in my blog that I would give you this story from the beginning.
I never really knew my Grandfather, he passed when I was very young, but I was told he
was tough on my father as he was an alcoholic.
My father was also an alcoholic. He passed a few years ago and I am not here to wine about
the family past. I will say that when my father was not drunk, he was a real decent person.
I could go on and on of the "drunk" stories I endured in my childhood with my father but
I don't feel it is appropriate. There is only one story that I will share that will provide you the
impact of how tough it is living with alcoholism.
When I was about 12 my mother finally had enough of the drunken abuse and she served papers
to my dad for a divorce. She told me the morning she served the papers to make sure I
kept my baby sister (8 years of age) out of the house for the day while she was at work
because she did not know how dad would react to the news. We were on school break so
I took my little sister to the local park and spend endless hours there assuring we were out
of the house long enough for my dad to come get his things and leave.
After what seemed like eternity at the park I took my sister home. All seemed quiet in the house
so I figured dad had come and gone. We went to my room to play a board game.
It was not long after we started the game when I heard a car pull up in the driveway and
a car door shutting. I ran to the window and saw my dad walking up to the house.
Horrified and filled with fear I escorted my kid sister into my closet. We hid as far back as
we could in the closet. We sat there in the dark and waited. We waited, and waited and waited and
waited. I finally made the big sister decision that it was safe enough to leave the closet.
I figured he must of gotten his things by now and already left. We returned to our board game
and I move onward to look out the window to check that he left. Much to my surprise, I saw his
car still in the driveway, and before I could react and hide my sister again, I heard his footsteps
coming up the stairs. He was only seconds from reaching my bedroom. I was shaking with fear.
I sat next to my sister and instructed her to act like we were in the middle of the game.
"Hi kids", my dad said as he walked into my room. "Hi' we said. He was not drunk so
my fear started to subside. He walked past us and went to the closet we were recently hiding in.
He opened it and reached in and got the suite case that we were hiding behind. He walked back
past us without another word. I sat at my bedroom window and watched. It was not long afterwards
I saw dad getting into his car with his belongings and he pulled out of the driveway. It was
the end of our "family" as we knew it.
I often wonder what my father's reaction would of been if he found us hiding in the closet.
If he was drunk and found us, it would of been ugly. But as he was sober, would it have
left an impact with him how afraid we were of him? Would it have made him give up drinking?
We will never know. What does it take for people to give up drugs or alcohol?
To those who read this...don't let that be you. Don't let your family be afraid of you because of
your drinking or drugs. It is so unnecessary and ruins what could be a good life.
Ok enough for today....beautiful day outside..going out for a walk to absorb some sunshine.
Until tomorrow
Unfortunately living with addictions there is no day of rest.
Two more days until my son goes to one of his court dates. Yesterday was actually a good day for us,
he stayed home and I don't believe he has used for a day or so. He said he is going to the
men's AA meeting tomorrow night. But those are words, actions are what count.
As always, I am in hopes that he is going to turn his life around, but I have had this hope so many times and so far it he has always failed. Plus we are not sure if he will be sentenced to jail time, some think that would be good at least it would keep him clean, but unfortunately, they get drugs in prison. I can only
pray and put my faith into God that he will guide us and do whats best for both of us.
I had mentioned earlier in my blog that I would give you this story from the beginning.
I never really knew my Grandfather, he passed when I was very young, but I was told he
was tough on my father as he was an alcoholic.
My father was also an alcoholic. He passed a few years ago and I am not here to wine about
the family past. I will say that when my father was not drunk, he was a real decent person.
I could go on and on of the "drunk" stories I endured in my childhood with my father but
I don't feel it is appropriate. There is only one story that I will share that will provide you the
impact of how tough it is living with alcoholism.
When I was about 12 my mother finally had enough of the drunken abuse and she served papers
to my dad for a divorce. She told me the morning she served the papers to make sure I
kept my baby sister (8 years of age) out of the house for the day while she was at work
because she did not know how dad would react to the news. We were on school break so
I took my little sister to the local park and spend endless hours there assuring we were out
of the house long enough for my dad to come get his things and leave.
After what seemed like eternity at the park I took my sister home. All seemed quiet in the house
so I figured dad had come and gone. We went to my room to play a board game.
It was not long after we started the game when I heard a car pull up in the driveway and
a car door shutting. I ran to the window and saw my dad walking up to the house.
Horrified and filled with fear I escorted my kid sister into my closet. We hid as far back as
we could in the closet. We sat there in the dark and waited. We waited, and waited and waited and
waited. I finally made the big sister decision that it was safe enough to leave the closet.
I figured he must of gotten his things by now and already left. We returned to our board game
and I move onward to look out the window to check that he left. Much to my surprise, I saw his
car still in the driveway, and before I could react and hide my sister again, I heard his footsteps
coming up the stairs. He was only seconds from reaching my bedroom. I was shaking with fear.
I sat next to my sister and instructed her to act like we were in the middle of the game.
"Hi kids", my dad said as he walked into my room. "Hi' we said. He was not drunk so
my fear started to subside. He walked past us and went to the closet we were recently hiding in.
He opened it and reached in and got the suite case that we were hiding behind. He walked back
past us without another word. I sat at my bedroom window and watched. It was not long afterwards
I saw dad getting into his car with his belongings and he pulled out of the driveway. It was
the end of our "family" as we knew it.
I often wonder what my father's reaction would of been if he found us hiding in the closet.
If he was drunk and found us, it would of been ugly. But as he was sober, would it have
left an impact with him how afraid we were of him? Would it have made him give up drinking?
We will never know. What does it take for people to give up drugs or alcohol?
To those who read this...don't let that be you. Don't let your family be afraid of you because of
your drinking or drugs. It is so unnecessary and ruins what could be a good life.
Ok enough for today....beautiful day outside..going out for a walk to absorb some sunshine.
Until tomorrow
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