Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. ~Charles Dickens
This will be a short post today. Jack left me a message on my phone last night that he was
staying over at some friends house. A nice break for the both of us. I was relieved he was
not arrested again. I hope I am not speaking too soon as he has not returned home yet so
one never knows what he’s up to.
This post I will share with you my trials and tribulations with drinking. As you know, my father
was an alcoholic so I know how damaging drinking is yet there was a period in my life I did not
adhere to my own warnings. I started drinking in my teens. I only drank at parties and when I did drink I drank to get drunk. I was a runner back in high school, I ran the half mile race.
My senior year I made it to the final championship race for the half mile. Can you believe that I
went to a party the night before and drank like a fool? The next day I endured a two hour bus ride
and then ran a half mile race all with a hangover. Of course I got the worst race time in my life and I will never forget the disappointing look on my coach’s face that day, I suspected he knew.
I should of learned from that day to stay away from alcohol but I didn’t. After I graduated I moved
out on my own. That was a real struggle. As you read in my previous posts I married young and was
pregnant with my son shortly after I married. I was pretty much sober for the first several years of my son’s life. It was after the divorce and the weekends that my son went to his dad’s that I started the heavy drinking. I would go out bar hopping, and if I was too broke to go out the bars I drank at home.
The real trouble started when I no longer just drank on the weekends Jack was at his dad’s house,
I started drinking every weekend. This troubled my son greatly. I remember the days I would come
home with the beer and he would meekly say "mom, please don’t drink tonight". I justified
it by usually waiting until he went to bed before I would crack open the beers and start chugging
them down. So between Jack seeing me drink on the weekends and then seeing his dad drinking each
time he was with him it’s no wonder he is an addict. Jack was in his teens (an impressionable age and I as a parent was a drunk, dreadful!) when I drank my heaviest. He was 16 when he first started using heroin, I sometimes try to blame my drinking on the fact that his using drove me to drink,..but was it my drinking that drove him to using?
So you see, I understand addiction and I tend to feel that I played a part in my son’s addiction
that is why I have been lenient with him over the years. But it’s been long enough, he needs to turn his life around or I have no choice but to put him out on the streets.Oh the damage I did by drinking. Later on I will share a couple of my humiliating horrible drunk stories.
Think I will go out for a walk to get some fresh air.
Happy Easter everyone, be safe!
This will be a short post today. Jack left me a message on my phone last night that he was
staying over at some friends house. A nice break for the both of us. I was relieved he was
not arrested again. I hope I am not speaking too soon as he has not returned home yet so
one never knows what he’s up to.
This post I will share with you my trials and tribulations with drinking. As you know, my father
was an alcoholic so I know how damaging drinking is yet there was a period in my life I did not
adhere to my own warnings. I started drinking in my teens. I only drank at parties and when I did drink I drank to get drunk. I was a runner back in high school, I ran the half mile race.
My senior year I made it to the final championship race for the half mile. Can you believe that I
went to a party the night before and drank like a fool? The next day I endured a two hour bus ride
and then ran a half mile race all with a hangover. Of course I got the worst race time in my life and I will never forget the disappointing look on my coach’s face that day, I suspected he knew.
I should of learned from that day to stay away from alcohol but I didn’t. After I graduated I moved
out on my own. That was a real struggle. As you read in my previous posts I married young and was
pregnant with my son shortly after I married. I was pretty much sober for the first several years of my son’s life. It was after the divorce and the weekends that my son went to his dad’s that I started the heavy drinking. I would go out bar hopping, and if I was too broke to go out the bars I drank at home.
The real trouble started when I no longer just drank on the weekends Jack was at his dad’s house,
I started drinking every weekend. This troubled my son greatly. I remember the days I would come
home with the beer and he would meekly say "mom, please don’t drink tonight". I justified
it by usually waiting until he went to bed before I would crack open the beers and start chugging
them down. So between Jack seeing me drink on the weekends and then seeing his dad drinking each
time he was with him it’s no wonder he is an addict. Jack was in his teens (an impressionable age and I as a parent was a drunk, dreadful!) when I drank my heaviest. He was 16 when he first started using heroin, I sometimes try to blame my drinking on the fact that his using drove me to drink,..but was it my drinking that drove him to using?
So you see, I understand addiction and I tend to feel that I played a part in my son’s addiction
that is why I have been lenient with him over the years. But it’s been long enough, he needs to turn his life around or I have no choice but to put him out on the streets.Oh the damage I did by drinking. Later on I will share a couple of my humiliating horrible drunk stories.
Think I will go out for a walk to get some fresh air.
Happy Easter everyone, be safe!
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