I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.　 I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.　 ~Mother Teresa

　
　
　Woe, what a day from H_ll. I mean it is too much. As I told you yesterday, the company I work
for laid off three office employees. The company is "outsourcing" some of the work so
they laid off three fabulous workers. I am depressed about it. I really can’t stand my job, plus
I live in an ugly desert town. I left a quaint New England town and relocated here in the desert
hoping that my son, when he got out of prison in New England, would join me and get a new
start away from the drug dealers back in New England. Well he did move out to live with me and it worked for about a year. Then he went back to using. Oh hum.

So, in my current state of severe depression, I have a prayer that a little miracle happens, like
a little lottery win, not millions, though that would WONDERFUL, but several thousand dollars so
I can off my debt and relocate. I all ready researched it, I would relocate to Dunedin, FL. Yup,
that looks like the perfect town for me. I have actually applied online to jobs there, but I
have a huge employment problem: 1. Employers inquire about credit score, that seems so
ridiculous to me. Well, I went bankrupt several years ago when I was paying for a lawyer for my
son’s felony (conspiracy to sell illegal drugs) and now, I have my son’s school loan dinging my
credit score. Remember a couple posts back I told you that I STUPIDLY co-signed for some
school loans for him. I really thought that college would turn him around. Inspire him to
get a great job (in IT) and move up and beyond his drug addiction.

Oh how foolish. Now here’s another "foolish move" a few years ago I got the big "DUI", yup…what an idiot I am. So now when employers do a credit check and a background check I look like a demon for gosh sakes. So, I have managed to land my current job several years ago and besides the outrageous work load, they treat me fairly well in regards to pay and benefits. I just wish the facility was located in Dunedin Fl
I am in such a rut right now. I am a little bit over weight, but working on that, eating better
and trying to walk my dog more. My job is overload and exhausting me and then to boot
my addict son is waiting 3 court dates. I haven’t dated in years, most likely because
of the grey cloud I keep secured over my head.. As you can see I have that place stuck on my mind. I really am a great worker, it s a shame my history files make me out to be a loser. I’M SO BURNT OUT WITH LIFE!!!!Oh, if only a little dream would come true. Boy, no wonder no one is reading my blog,
it’s too depressing. Well, living with an addict and an addiction is depressing.

But I have faith that good things will be coming to me soon. Pray, Pray, Pray….
that’s all I can say…Pray and Pray….I just reminded myself, Keep faith that
God will shine his light on me…BUT PLEASE MAKE IT SOONER THAN LATER,
I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS RUT!There, I just pasted a smiley clip art pic at the top, that grey   cloud HAS to leave me one day soon.


Until tomorrow.